I Won't Let Go

So I know it has been awhile since I last wrote but as usual I have procrastinated and let many things happen so that this blog will probably be one giant ramble of incoherentness.  Sorry for that.  Is that even a word or did I just make it up?  Anyhoo, the last few months have been full of twists and turns and ups and downs as is my life.  I have really been trying to focus on church and getting closer to the Lord and through this I see how short I fall daily.  I am so undeserving of God's Love and yet he gives it to me so freely.  I feel like I have wasted so much of my life worrying about such insignificant things when some are struggling to feed, clothe and house themselves.  I have all of these things and I take them for granted so much.  I have made so many mistakes and I have finally decided it is time to get over myself and try to have a heart like Jesus.  This I struggle so much with.  It is so easy to have a good heart towards family, friends, and even strangers in need.  It is not easy to have a good heart towards those who have wronged me, disrespected me, lied to me, are rude, fake, or do not have a heart for the Lord themselves but I have learned that those are the ones who need it the most.  I just struggle with this and being judgemental so much.  I am really trying to give it over to God because I know only he can help me overcome my failures.  
In other news, my sis was up for a week for Spring Break and that was amazing!  We had so much fun and I really enjoyed all the time spent with my family.  I am so blessed to have such an amazing family.  Crys and I did a lot of shopping and just hanging out and it was tons of fun.  Nothing takes the place of the bond that my sis and I have and nothing ever will.  Will and Amber are getting married in a little over a month and I am going to be a bridesmaid so I am excited about that.  It is going to be a lot of fun.  Grammy has been sick and I worry about her.  I hate seeing her down and not able to get around. 
Next topic to be updated:  Jake and I have been hanging out a lot lately.  We went to the Rascal Flatts concert and had an amazing time.  Then we have spent the last two Saturdays together.  We went to an auction the first Saturday and this past Sat. he, Payton, and I all went shopping at the Legends.  We had fun and I miss Payton so much so I enjoyed the time with the two of them.  I am glad Jake and I are becoming close again.  I have seen a lot of changes in him and am even seeing glimpses of the Jake that I fell in love with 7 years ago.  I hope he does change for the better.  He is a great guy and I want him to have a great life.   I want to be happy and have a great life too and right now, I am not sure what that means for me but I am trusting that God is going to show me the way.  He will lead me to who and where I am supposed to be. Here is a little video that I saw at the concert and it is such a great song.  I love Rascal Flatts!  <3

Until next time,

Beck