A Change Gonna Come

Well as usual I have waited too long to blog.  There is so much to talk about, I may run out of room.  In the last 6 months, I have:   had a personal trainer and lost some weight, went back to school for my EdS in administration, applied at other school districts, gained a new baby cousin, and began to evaluate my life.   I have been slacking on the working out lately but am determined to get back at it.  I think I may take more time off before taking another class--just not sure if I am doing the right thing going back right now.  I really want to teach PreK but was passed up by my district so I applied at Liberty Public Schools.  I would hate to leave my friends but sometimes wonder if I am in the right place.  My cousin Heather had a beautiful baby boy--Cecil Hunter Wise.  I love that kid.  He is so precious!  My life--where do I begin?   Hmmmmm------------I want more out of my life.  I want a bigger home to entertain friends and family.  I want to do more in education.  I want to be a better Christian.  My Lord deserves that.  I want to have a fairytale kind of love.  I want a family of my own.   I love my independence but it gets lonely all by myself.     I still love Jake with all my heart but just don't know if we are supposed to be together.  I don't want to fall back into our old ways and both of us be miserable again.  I wish things could be like they were in the beginning for us but maybe that is not what God wants for me.  I have to trust that he will lead me where I am supposed to be and with whom he wants me to be with.  It is sometimes hard to do this but I know that my God will take care of me.   Payton is getting so big and grown up and I can't believe he is in the 3rd grade.  He is such an amazing kid and it makes me proud to think I may have had a little bit to do with that.  Currently, I am sick with darn old bronchitis.  It sucks.  The doc says I have to miss the next two days of work.  I feel like I am so behind already with all the end of the year stuff.  Mom and dad are good.  I can honestly say that I am so so lucky to have them.  They help me at the drop of a hat.  They support me in my decisions even if they don't agree with them.  They have raised me with strong morals and values.  I couldn't ask for better parents.  They are the best.  I wish they would start going to church.  I know that Ma and Pa Wheeler and Grampie Calvert would be dancing in heaven if mom and dad went back to church.  I guess I have to trust that God is working on that to.  I miss my sister so much but know that God has his hand on her life.  I want her to be happy and know that even in the hard times, God will get her through.  I want her to trust that he has a plan for her and Dyl and really do his will.  She is such an amazing girl and I am so proud of her.  Let me not forget Grammie.  She is as onery as ever.  I love her so much and am so lucky to be able to be so close to her.  Wow,  I think I have babbled on enough for tonight.  I will ask you all to pray for me.  Pray that I listen to God and trust what he wants for my life.  Pray that I will do more as a Christian to spread the Gospel.  Pray that I will be the friend, sister, daughter, granddaughter, cousin, teacher, and Christian that I am supposed to be.  Pray that I will always give 100% and never settle for less from myself or anyone else. 

Till next time,
Beck