Falling into place

So let me just say that I am in a great place in my life right now.  I love my job.  It is exactly what I hoped and so much more.   Sam, my para, is wonderful.  She is such a self starter and I know she will be a great teacher.  I love my new house.  I feel such a sense of accomplishment.  If I could just sell the old house, I would be able to start putting money back in savings.  I am so excited to become an aunt soon.  I am so proud and thankful that Crys is doing okay and can't wait to go see her in two weeks.  Jake and I are so happy also.  I feel like all that we have been through has made us love and appreciate each other so much.  We have even been discussing marriage and kids lately.  Payton is getting so big.  He is now taking drum, cello, singing and dance lessons.  He is such a great kid and it sometimes pains me at how much he has grown up.  I miss the days of him crying for "my Becky". Sadly, my church closed down.  I will miss it and all the folks every Sunday.  I have been to two new churches the past two Sundays but have yet to find a good fit for me.  I know God will lead me where he wants me.  Mike and Leeanne gave me an elliptical and I am excited to get on there and get some weight off.  Guess I have covered most of the recent blessings in my life for now. 

Till next time,

Beck

Surgery Piece of Cake

So I have been working frantically to get my classroom ready before my surgery.  I got a lot done and am pleased with how things are looking.  Tuesday was my surgery and I was very scared.  Being 36 and never having had a real surgery to having two at once was pretty overwhelming for me.  Luckily my parents were with me every step of the way.  Pops tried to calm me down by cracking jokes while mom shushed him for being to loud in the waiting room.  Once back in the prep area, they struggled to get an IV in.  After 4 sticks and the use of an ultrasound machine to find a vein, they finally found one deep in my upper left arm.  That in, my parents came back and waited with me till surgery.  As they took me back, I assumed they already drugged me up because I don't remember anything past being wheeled away from my daddy.  The next thing I know I am waking up with a breathing mask on my face.  As I came to, they brought my parents back and I got dressed to leave.  My parents brought me home and got me all settled in.  Dad stayed with me while mom went and got me food, bandaids and other goodies.  Pops stayed with me the last two nights.  Mom stayed a bit yesterday and Jake and Pay came over and spent the afternoon with me yesterday.  I don't know what I would do without these people who love me so much.  I am very blessed.  I haven't had too much pain.  The hand has hurt the worst.  Hoping to shower and take the wraps off today.  I can't believe only one more week till I go back to work.  This summer has gone by so fast.  I am ready to start my new position this year but would love another few weeks off to recupe from my surgery.  Just want to thank all of you for the kind words and thoughts and for checkin up on me.  I love you guys!

Till next time,
Beck

Happy Birthday America!

So I had a wonderful 4th of July.   Slept in late (9:30am), lazed around for a bit, got ready and headed over to Jake's house.  Mason  and Payton were playing and being silly all day.  It was good to see both of them having so much fun.  My cousins were my best friends growing up and it is cool to see that in the boys.  In the afternoon, Jake and I took them to get fireworks and then to the Parkville fun fest.   They rode rides and played games and ate yummy food.  Then we came home and shot off fireworks.  After all that, I came home to my house and watched Worlds of Fun fireworks from my recliner.  Now I am sitting here wondering if I will be able to fall asleep with all the folks in my neighborhood still shooting off fireworks.   In other news, Jake and I got back together on June 29th.  We decided to give it another try.  We basically have been dating for a while but nothing was official until the 29th.  I am very happy and he seems to be too.  I am very thankful that God helped us find our way back to each other.  He always seems to make a way when you just trust him.  Jake and I have both grown up a lot and seem to want the same things in life.  I had a great time last weekend with my sis and Dyl in town.  We ate out a lot but luckily I did not gain any weight back.  I am actually down 22.2 since January.  I know it is slow but I am ok with that if it stays off.   I have not been able to exercise with my bum knee so I hope it gets better after my surgery.  I am having knee and wrist surgery on the 30th of this month.  Prayers that it all goes ok.  Jake quit smoking for Payton for his bday.  I am so proud of him.  I hope that after my surgery, we can both start working out and lose some weight.  If I ever want to have a baby, I have to get some weight off.  I guess I have rambled on enough tonight.  Till next time,

Beck

They May Say That I'm A Dreamer

As I write this, I am sitting in my new house just starting the first day of summer break.  I am so blessed.  I am blessed with a home that I am proud of, a rental house with a renter, a job that I love and have a passion for, amazing family and friends, a church who speaks the truth and a real relationship with Christ, a dog who loves me unconditionally and is always happy to see me, my health for the most part, and the ability to achieve my dreams.  There are many things in life that I decided I wanted to achieve and everything I have set out to do seems to all be falling into place.  I even have hope that I will get married and have kids one day (even though I am 36).  I know God has so many plans for me and I've just barely started on the journey he wants me to be on.  There is so so much more to see, do, and be.  I can't wait for the plans he has for me to unfold.  I am so excited to be moving to PreK for next year.  I know this will be such a great change for me.  I think I will love it!  I am very happy that I will still be at Davidson with my best friends.  They are like family to me and I can't imagine being anywhere else.  I will miss Lisa and Dana but know I will still see them at Taco Night and other get togethers.  I had a great birthday and celebrated with my friends coming over to see my new house.  We sat and chatted and snacked and had a good time.    Payton also had a great bday.  Sara, Tony, and the kids came up from Wichita and we were so happy to see them.  It is hard to believe Payton is 10 years old.  The years have flown by.  Jake and I have gotten closer over the last few months.  We seem to have a much better friendship and treat each other with love and respect.  It's nice to be back to that after all that we went through.  Again, God has a plan and I don't know if he wants Jake and I to get back together or not but it seems like he is paving the way for us.  No matter if that happens or not, I am happy to know that we will always have a strong bond.  On another note, I am 13 chapters in to the book I am writing (my memoir of teaching).  I am so excited and am hoping for at least 20 chapters and to be done by December of this year.  I hope people like it and it is as good as I think it is.  lol   My dad has decided to possibly retire this November.  I know this has been a hard decision for him and I can only imagine his internal struggle with it.  See my pops is a worker, a go getter, a guy who can't just sit around and do nothing most of the time.  It will be difficult for him to not have a job to go to every day.   Not to mention the fact that he worries so much about his family and always wants to make sure he is able to help them if they need it.  I know God will make a way for him and he will be ok.  Well I think I've rambled on enough for one entry.  Besides I have got stuff to do before Crys and Dyl get here this afternoon.  I can't wait to spend the weekend with them.  I will try not to wait as long to update the blog.
Till next time,

Beck

Never Alone

So last Sunday at church, I sang a song for Payton called Never Alone.  It is a song about how you're never alone because the person is always in your heart no matter where you are.  It is a beautiful song.  I always close my eyes when I sing so when I opened them halfway through the song, I saw that Payton was crying and wiping his eyes.  This is a pretty unusual reaction for a 9 year old boy in front of an entire church crowd.  Payton is no ordinary 9 year old boy.  He is so astute and he has such a tender heart.  Yesterday when I picked him up from the sitter, I asked him why he had cried.  He said that the song showed him how much I loved him and that he was crying tears of joy.  I about started bawling again.  I told him he was right that I loved him so so much and that I would always love him no matter what.  We also talked about how I would never try to replace his mom because I know how special she is to him but that even though I didn't give birth to him, I loved him like he was my own child.  He said he knew that and we changed the conversation.  I will never be able to put into words how much my heart soared yesterday.  I know that Payton knows how much I love him and that no matter where I am and where he is or how many years older he gets, that I will always love him times a million to the moon and back. 
     In other news, I met with my principals about my new PreK position for next year and I am so so so excited about what is to come for me.  I cannot wait to start my new job.  35 school days left of being a Kindergarten teacher.  It is exciting and at the same time a little bittersweet.  I will miss my team but will be excited to branch out on my own (with an aide) and see what sorts of great things I can bring to PreK.  I am also very thankful for my PreK contacts who are going to be a huge support system for showing me the ropes as I take this new journey. 
     On another note, not sure what is going on with the house I put an offer on.  My offer was accepted and then another buyer put an offer in and they said they would take the highest bid.  I was angry and frustrated at this and have contacted several folks to help me in this situation.  Claire McCaskill's office is putting a federal inquiry into Fannie Mae about this.  I am not sure if that will help or not but I am standing on principle here.  I know God will put me where he wants me so I am just trying not to worry and trust in him.  I am very excited for all of the amazing things going on in my life.  I have lost 19lbs.  I feel great and have started Couch to 5K.  I feel so blessed.  I am so ready for what life has in store for me.  I always had this plan that I wanted to get married and have a few kids and although I still want those things desperately, I am trusting the plan that God has for me.  That may not be in the cards for me.   As heartbreaking as that may be, I will trust his plan whatever that is.    Till next time,

Beck

This Girl Is On Fire

So it has been a tough few months for my family.  My little sister miscarried earlier this month.  It is one of the hardest things our family has been through. Some may wonder why I was so upset or why I was feeling so glum for so long but not only was I so so so sad for the loss of this child who was to be my niece or nephew but I was totally devastated for the pain my sis and her hubs were going though.  I know how much they want a child and how hard they have had to work at it.  I am inspired by their faith and committment to Christ through this terrible tragedy.  It is so hard to see people who take pregnancy for granted and have babies in terrible conditions and then see my sis and bro who so  want a baby and work so hard at it and would do anything to have a child go through something so horrible.  It is something that I am working on praying about so that my heart is not bitter.  I know good things will happen for them and they will get the desires of their heart in God's own perfect time but that doesn't always make it easy when dealing with such a delicate loss. 
During this rough time, I had a spring break and really just needed to get away from KC for a while and try to relax.  This has been an extremely tough year for me in many ways and I just needed a break from all of it.  I was able to go to South Carolina with my mom and we had as good of a time as we could with both of us missing my sis and wishing she was with us.  I was glad to get away but also glad to get back home.  Right before I left, I interviewed for the PreK position at Davidson next year.  It was tough for me because I was up against some very close friends and I didn't want any of us to get hurt by not getting the job.  I really really wanted it though.  I just needed a change.  I am pleased to report that after an hour long interview, I was notified within the next 30 min. that I was being offered the position.  I was elated but it was also bittersweet as I was bummed for my friends.  As I have always said, God always puts me where he wants me so I believe in my heart that this is what he wanted for me.  I am so grateful for the opportunity ahead and know that great things are to come next year.  On another very exciting note, I am in the process of purchasing a new home not far from my current home.  It is a much bigger house and much much nicer than my current one.  I have worked hard for 13 years and saved up and I think I have earned it.  I am so excited to be able to have my friends over to hang out (my current house is way to small to do this).  God is so good and his blessings are overflowing in my life.  I cannot wait to see what else he has in store for me if I trust in him.  I had a great night out with my oldest and dearest friend last night.  We chatted for 3 and a half hours about everything under the sun.  I miss her so much.  We def. do not see each other enough.  That is going to change.  I am very thankful for all my friends and family right now esp. the ones who have been there for me in the good and bad times, not judging or talking about me behind my back.  I am thankful for the true people in my life.  They are the ones who matter the most.  I will keep you all posted on any new happenings with the house or new job.

Till next time,
Beck

God is so so good.

So Friday I had to go in for a single balloon enteroscopy.  I was pretty nervous about the procedure just cause I have never been put out before.  Dad took me and we prayed together in the waiting room before they took me back to a room.  Then, they put an IV in after two tries.  (My poor arms look like pin cushions)  Finally they took me back to do the procedure.  I was trying to be strong and not cry so as not to upset my pop.  The doctor was very nice and the anesthesiologist said this will sting a bit and then you will be asleep.  I began to pray and then I was out.  I woke up later and the procedure was all done.  The doc came in and told me all was well and I didn't have anything serious.  They think I had viral bacterial enteritis last week and that is why I went into the hospital.  They did not seem worried about it.  I guess I am all better now.  Yay!  I am ready to get back to my routines and working out.  I am going to start slowly and work my way back up.  I am so excited that I am going to be an aunt. I keep seeing things that I want to buy for the baby but I have kept my cool and only bought one thing so far.  On the work front, I put in for a transfer to early childhood.  I am really hoping to get the PreK position at Davidson but I know others have applied for that as well.    I am trusting that God will put me where he wants me.  One of my student's sister was in an accident this weekend.  She fell and hit her head and is in the hospital with a blood clot on her brain.  I am praying for this family and hope that all turns out well.  Jake and I put Pay's drums together today and I think we did pretty good for having never done that before.  There are a few things we couldn't figure out so Zerl is supposed to come over soon and help us finish it up.  So Valentine's Day is coming soon and it looks as though I'll be flying solo once again.  :(  If so, I am taking myself out for a massage.  I deserve it!  Till next time,

Beck