Best week of my life!

Where do I start?  So much has happened in the last week.  I will start with Christmas Day at my parents with my mom, dad, sis, bro, Jake, and Payton.  We were all opening gifts and I was opening my gift from my lil sis.  It was a KU shirt with Parker Dean on the front and the back said. Aunt Becky (Godmom).   I began to sob immediately when I saw that.  I was overwhelmed with such love and joy for the nephew I have yet to meet.  I can't describe my elation at the fact that they chose me to be his godmom, a job I take very seriously.  I felt so blessed.  Everyone was laughing at how I went from zero to full on ugly cry in .2 seconds.  I had a wonderful Christmas with my family and was so happy to be able to celebrate with the ones I loved the most.  Fast forward to Dec. 27th, my mom's 60th birthday.  We were all set to go out to dinner and celebrate.  I had a few errands to run so I headed over to Jake's so we could get them done before dinner.   I walked into the house and was messing with a wallet for my bro when Payton comes up to me and says, "Becky, when are you and my dad going to get married?"  I told him I didn't know and asked him why.  He responded with, "Well I think it should be soon" and then he turned and looked at Jake.  Jake smiled, walked over and got down on one knee with a box in his hand.  Then Payton got down on one knee with a box in his hand.  Then it hit me again, the ugly cry.  Jake took my hand and said, "I love you so much.  You are so good to me and such a wonderful stepmom to Payton and we want to spend the rest of our lives with you.  Will you marry us?" Jake put the ring on my finger and  I said yes and then Payton (with tears in his eyes) told me he had something for me too.  He gave me a heart ring with two diamonds on it (one for him and one for his dad).  Payton also has a ring on a necklace to signify our bond.  I cried some more and hugged and kissed my boys.  It was the most special amazing moment.  I have never been happier in my life than this week.  I found out I get to be a Godmom to my nephew and I get to marry the love of my life and start our family together with the best stepson in the whole wide world.  I also have an amazing job that I love, family and friends that I love, and I am starting my doctorate.  God is so good to me and continues to bless me even though I don't deserve it.  So grateful!

Pump Pump Pump it up

Mom is complaining that I haven't blogged in a while so here goes.  We are well into the school year and I am loving my job.  I am so thankful that God always puts me where he wants me.  Today I went to KU medical center and met with an endocrinologist to discuss getting my diabetes under tighter control and get on the track for weight loss.  My a1c was 7.3% down from 7.7%.  I am happy that it has dropped but my goal is to have it under 6.6%.  I know I have a lot of work ahead of me but I am determined to do this.  I cannot move forward with having a child until I get that under control.  Jake and I have been talking about our future (getting married and having kids) and I think we are on the same page.  We want it to happen soon but we also know that I need to get my health under control before we move forward with that.  I am determined to do this.  It is my goal to be in the 6s by my next appt. in Feb.  I will not start trying to have kids until I am at a 6.5% or below.  I am inspired by my lil sis and her amazing journey of hard work and determination to have a child.  I am changing the way I use my pump immediately and meeting with a dietician on Dec. 30th.  I can do this.  My mind is set and I will not fail.  I know that once I am under control and have lost weight, I will feel so much better.  I ask for all your prayers on this journey.  I will be leaning on God to get me through this.  I can't wait to marry the love of my life and grow our family.  I know that God knows the desires of my heart and that he will make a way for me.  Guess this is it for now.  I'll try to update soon. 
Till next time,

Beck

Falling into place

So let me just say that I am in a great place in my life right now.  I love my job.  It is exactly what I hoped and so much more.   Sam, my para, is wonderful.  She is such a self starter and I know she will be a great teacher.  I love my new house.  I feel such a sense of accomplishment.  If I could just sell the old house, I would be able to start putting money back in savings.  I am so excited to become an aunt soon.  I am so proud and thankful that Crys is doing okay and can't wait to go see her in two weeks.  Jake and I are so happy also.  I feel like all that we have been through has made us love and appreciate each other so much.  We have even been discussing marriage and kids lately.  Payton is getting so big.  He is now taking drum, cello, singing and dance lessons.  He is such a great kid and it sometimes pains me at how much he has grown up.  I miss the days of him crying for "my Becky". Sadly, my church closed down.  I will miss it and all the folks every Sunday.  I have been to two new churches the past two Sundays but have yet to find a good fit for me.  I know God will lead me where he wants me.  Mike and Leeanne gave me an elliptical and I am excited to get on there and get some weight off.  Guess I have covered most of the recent blessings in my life for now. 

Till next time,

Beck

Surgery Piece of Cake

So I have been working frantically to get my classroom ready before my surgery.  I got a lot done and am pleased with how things are looking.  Tuesday was my surgery and I was very scared.  Being 36 and never having had a real surgery to having two at once was pretty overwhelming for me.  Luckily my parents were with me every step of the way.  Pops tried to calm me down by cracking jokes while mom shushed him for being to loud in the waiting room.  Once back in the prep area, they struggled to get an IV in.  After 4 sticks and the use of an ultrasound machine to find a vein, they finally found one deep in my upper left arm.  That in, my parents came back and waited with me till surgery.  As they took me back, I assumed they already drugged me up because I don't remember anything past being wheeled away from my daddy.  The next thing I know I am waking up with a breathing mask on my face.  As I came to, they brought my parents back and I got dressed to leave.  My parents brought me home and got me all settled in.  Dad stayed with me while mom went and got me food, bandaids and other goodies.  Pops stayed with me the last two nights.  Mom stayed a bit yesterday and Jake and Pay came over and spent the afternoon with me yesterday.  I don't know what I would do without these people who love me so much.  I am very blessed.  I haven't had too much pain.  The hand has hurt the worst.  Hoping to shower and take the wraps off today.  I can't believe only one more week till I go back to work.  This summer has gone by so fast.  I am ready to start my new position this year but would love another few weeks off to recupe from my surgery.  Just want to thank all of you for the kind words and thoughts and for checkin up on me.  I love you guys!

Till next time,
Beck

Happy Birthday America!

So I had a wonderful 4th of July.   Slept in late (9:30am), lazed around for a bit, got ready and headed over to Jake's house.  Mason  and Payton were playing and being silly all day.  It was good to see both of them having so much fun.  My cousins were my best friends growing up and it is cool to see that in the boys.  In the afternoon, Jake and I took them to get fireworks and then to the Parkville fun fest.   They rode rides and played games and ate yummy food.  Then we came home and shot off fireworks.  After all that, I came home to my house and watched Worlds of Fun fireworks from my recliner.  Now I am sitting here wondering if I will be able to fall asleep with all the folks in my neighborhood still shooting off fireworks.   In other news, Jake and I got back together on June 29th.  We decided to give it another try.  We basically have been dating for a while but nothing was official until the 29th.  I am very happy and he seems to be too.  I am very thankful that God helped us find our way back to each other.  He always seems to make a way when you just trust him.  Jake and I have both grown up a lot and seem to want the same things in life.  I had a great time last weekend with my sis and Dyl in town.  We ate out a lot but luckily I did not gain any weight back.  I am actually down 22.2 since January.  I know it is slow but I am ok with that if it stays off.   I have not been able to exercise with my bum knee so I hope it gets better after my surgery.  I am having knee and wrist surgery on the 30th of this month.  Prayers that it all goes ok.  Jake quit smoking for Payton for his bday.  I am so proud of him.  I hope that after my surgery, we can both start working out and lose some weight.  If I ever want to have a baby, I have to get some weight off.  I guess I have rambled on enough tonight.  Till next time,

Beck

They May Say That I'm A Dreamer

As I write this, I am sitting in my new house just starting the first day of summer break.  I am so blessed.  I am blessed with a home that I am proud of, a rental house with a renter, a job that I love and have a passion for, amazing family and friends, a church who speaks the truth and a real relationship with Christ, a dog who loves me unconditionally and is always happy to see me, my health for the most part, and the ability to achieve my dreams.  There are many things in life that I decided I wanted to achieve and everything I have set out to do seems to all be falling into place.  I even have hope that I will get married and have kids one day (even though I am 36).  I know God has so many plans for me and I've just barely started on the journey he wants me to be on.  There is so so much more to see, do, and be.  I can't wait for the plans he has for me to unfold.  I am so excited to be moving to PreK for next year.  I know this will be such a great change for me.  I think I will love it!  I am very happy that I will still be at Davidson with my best friends.  They are like family to me and I can't imagine being anywhere else.  I will miss Lisa and Dana but know I will still see them at Taco Night and other get togethers.  I had a great birthday and celebrated with my friends coming over to see my new house.  We sat and chatted and snacked and had a good time.    Payton also had a great bday.  Sara, Tony, and the kids came up from Wichita and we were so happy to see them.  It is hard to believe Payton is 10 years old.  The years have flown by.  Jake and I have gotten closer over the last few months.  We seem to have a much better friendship and treat each other with love and respect.  It's nice to be back to that after all that we went through.  Again, God has a plan and I don't know if he wants Jake and I to get back together or not but it seems like he is paving the way for us.  No matter if that happens or not, I am happy to know that we will always have a strong bond.  On another note, I am 13 chapters in to the book I am writing (my memoir of teaching).  I am so excited and am hoping for at least 20 chapters and to be done by December of this year.  I hope people like it and it is as good as I think it is.  lol   My dad has decided to possibly retire this November.  I know this has been a hard decision for him and I can only imagine his internal struggle with it.  See my pops is a worker, a go getter, a guy who can't just sit around and do nothing most of the time.  It will be difficult for him to not have a job to go to every day.   Not to mention the fact that he worries so much about his family and always wants to make sure he is able to help them if they need it.  I know God will make a way for him and he will be ok.  Well I think I've rambled on enough for one entry.  Besides I have got stuff to do before Crys and Dyl get here this afternoon.  I can't wait to spend the weekend with them.  I will try not to wait as long to update the blog.
Till next time,

Beck

Never Alone

So last Sunday at church, I sang a song for Payton called Never Alone.  It is a song about how you're never alone because the person is always in your heart no matter where you are.  It is a beautiful song.  I always close my eyes when I sing so when I opened them halfway through the song, I saw that Payton was crying and wiping his eyes.  This is a pretty unusual reaction for a 9 year old boy in front of an entire church crowd.  Payton is no ordinary 9 year old boy.  He is so astute and he has such a tender heart.  Yesterday when I picked him up from the sitter, I asked him why he had cried.  He said that the song showed him how much I loved him and that he was crying tears of joy.  I about started bawling again.  I told him he was right that I loved him so so much and that I would always love him no matter what.  We also talked about how I would never try to replace his mom because I know how special she is to him but that even though I didn't give birth to him, I loved him like he was my own child.  He said he knew that and we changed the conversation.  I will never be able to put into words how much my heart soared yesterday.  I know that Payton knows how much I love him and that no matter where I am and where he is or how many years older he gets, that I will always love him times a million to the moon and back. 
     In other news, I met with my principals about my new PreK position for next year and I am so so so excited about what is to come for me.  I cannot wait to start my new job.  35 school days left of being a Kindergarten teacher.  It is exciting and at the same time a little bittersweet.  I will miss my team but will be excited to branch out on my own (with an aide) and see what sorts of great things I can bring to PreK.  I am also very thankful for my PreK contacts who are going to be a huge support system for showing me the ropes as I take this new journey. 
     On another note, not sure what is going on with the house I put an offer on.  My offer was accepted and then another buyer put an offer in and they said they would take the highest bid.  I was angry and frustrated at this and have contacted several folks to help me in this situation.  Claire McCaskill's office is putting a federal inquiry into Fannie Mae about this.  I am not sure if that will help or not but I am standing on principle here.  I know God will put me where he wants me so I am just trying not to worry and trust in him.  I am very excited for all of the amazing things going on in my life.  I have lost 19lbs.  I feel great and have started Couch to 5K.  I feel so blessed.  I am so ready for what life has in store for me.  I always had this plan that I wanted to get married and have a few kids and although I still want those things desperately, I am trusting the plan that God has for me.  That may not be in the cards for me.   As heartbreaking as that may be, I will trust his plan whatever that is.    Till next time,

Beck